The Leaky Cauldron is known for being one of the most popular restaurants in the wizarding world, as it houses the entrance to the popular shopping destination, Diagon Alley. However; recently, a discovery has been unearthed that may make you want to rethink your plans for a dining experience there…
Mister Imaj Enery, a young wizard who will return to Hogwarts this September for his seventh year and dreams of being a major food critic, had stopped at the pub to lodge for the night after traveling London.
Unable to sleep after a few glasses of Ogden’s Old Firewhiskey, he ventured out of his room and downstairs. According to Enery, as he sat down at a table and began to study his Care of Magical Creatures textbook, he heard a scuffle from inside the kitchens. “It was… odd. I heard a guy cursing under his breath… a lot, and shuffling footprints, some heavy like a human’s and some more like an animal’s. I was confused, see, why would the guy be cursing? So I ducked behind a pillar at the top of the stairs, and as I watched I noticed that it wasn’t the guy cursing, it was his pet ferret, somehow? Glancing back at my textbook I realized it was a pet jarvey (talking, overgrown ferret) and he was following a man who had lots of small creatures gathered in his arms. Searching through my book, I determined that they were horklumps… but why?”
Minutes later, Enery witnessed the Horklumps… well, I won’t go into detail, but it wasn’t pretty! “The guy then muttered some spell or other under his breath- I couldn’t catch it, but it Transfigured the poor pieces of meat into beef. That got me thinking… the shepherd’s pie I had for dinner did taste a tiny bit off. It could have been the unTransfiguring done to the meat… and then I thought, what about the rumors about the pea soup? Why are the fish sticks you get when you order fish and chips so crunchy? I don’t really want to know, but at the same time, I want to expose this danger to the community.”
Some think that Enery is making a mountain out of a molehill, although the Ministry admits that it’s rather disconcerting that the Leaky Cauldron’s shepherd’s pie possibly has Horklumps in it. They’ll be sending out a team of wizards to investigate shortly… but for now, we’re left to wonder, is there a reason they tell us to eat the pea soup before it eats us?