In the past month, about 10% of all students have been diagnosed with a new disease that is rapidly sweeping through Hogwarts. Healers call it “DA-itis” and despite frequent reassurances to the public, no known cure has been found. All students are susceptible unless they have been vaccinated, and even then, vaccinations need to be administered at least every three months! Let’s hear a few words from Healer Chamomelia Ginger, who works at St. Mungo’s Hospital for Magical Maladies and Injuries:
“…We think DA-itis may possibly be contagious. That factor would explain its large number of victims…. I’ve checked in with Madame Pomfrey in the Hospital Wing, and she’s struggling to take care of all the students in the overcrowded place. Some may soon have to be transferred somewhere else, perhaps even a quarantine area in St. Mungo’s itself! I’d like to give a word of caution to any students out there that haven’t contracted the illness; get the vaccine if you haven’t already! It’s the only way to completely prevent you from being diagnosed with DA-itis.”
When asked about the most noticeable symptoms of the disease, Ginger shuddered. “The list goes on… there’s difficulty speaking, bursting out saying a variation on “hHHhHH”, red letter-shaped bumps forming all over the face and arms, extreme frustration, and pertaining to “typing”: incorrect spellings, typing slower, and typing completely the wrong thing. There are most likely, even more, symptoms that we are currently unaware of, but no worries! We’re determined to find a cure soon and we might be on the edge of an epic breakthrough!” May it be noted she did sound a bit frantic in her promises of a cure.
The epidemic, in the meantime, is still roaring through Hogwarts. Go through the list of symptoms to see if you have DA-itis, and make sure to get vaccinated as soon as possible. Stay away from infected students! Good luck, stay safe, and stay healthy!