What Really Goes into the Leaky Cauldron’s Recipes?!

The Leaky Cauldron is known for being one of the most popular restaurants in the wizarding world, as it houses the entrance to the popular shopping destination, Diagon Alley. However; recently, a discovery has been unearthed that may make you want to rethink your plans for a dining experience there…

Mister Imaj Enery, a young wizard who will return to Hogwarts this September for his seventh year and dreams of being a major food critic, had stopped at the pub to lodge for the night after traveling London.

Unable to sleep after a few glasses of Ogden’s Old Firewhiskey, he ventured out of his room and downstairs. According to Enery, as he sat down at a table and began to study his Care of Magical Creatures textbook, he heard a scuffle from inside the kitchens. “It was… odd. I heard a guy cursing under his breath… a lot, and shuffling footprints, some heavy like a human’s and some more like an animal’s. I was confused, see, why would the guy be cursing? So I ducked behind a pillar at the top of the stairs, and as I watched I noticed that it wasn’t the guy cursing, it was his pet ferret, somehow? Glancing back at my textbook I realized it was a pet jarvey (talking, overgrown ferret) and he was following a man who had lots of small creatures gathered in his arms. Searching through my book, I determined that they were horklumps… but why?”

Minutes later, Enery witnessed the Horklumps… well, I won’t go into detail, but it wasn’t pretty! “The guy then muttered some spell or other under his breath- I couldn’t catch it, but it Transfigured the poor pieces of meat into beef. That got me thinking… the shepherd’s pie I had for dinner did taste a tiny bit off. It could have been the unTransfiguring done to the meat… and then I thought, what about the rumors about the pea soup? Why are the fish sticks you get when you order fish and chips so crunchy? I don’t really want to know, but at the same time, I want to expose this danger to the community.”

Some think that Enery is making a mountain out of a molehill, although the Ministry admits that it’s rather disconcerting that the Leaky Cauldron’s shepherd’s pie possibly has Horklumps in it. They’ll be sending out a team of wizards to investigate shortly… but for now, we’re left to wonder, is there a reason they tell us to eat the pea soup before it eats us?

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