Muggles Most Likely Wizards and Witches in DISGUISE!

Throughout Muggle history, there have been many influential figures. However, how many of these influential figures have actually been Wizards and Witches in disguise? Here are our favorite theories!

Michael Phelps won a total of 28 Olympic medals (22 being Gold) in various swimming events over the span of 16 years (keeping in mind the Muggle’s Olympic’s happens only every four years), becoming the most decorated Olympian. Well, reader, we know what you’re thinking: his insane amount of victories could just be skill-related, right? Well, Michael Phelps’ fastest speed was about six miles per hour, when the average swimmer swims at two miles per hour. Additionally, during the Muggle TV channel Discovery Channel’s “Shark Week,” Phelps raced a mechanical Great White Shark programmed with the average speed of a Great White Shark, finishing only two seconds behind it. Quibbler can report that a Ministry of Magic Official under the Department of Magic government) official to investigate possible magical exposure, including (but not limited to) Gillyweed or a Bubblehead Charm. We suspect Michael Phelps may be let off the hook, however, since he stated that the 2016 Rio Olympics was his last, so he may resort to a normal magical life without breaking the Statue of Secrecy yet again. However, at the same time, he may be charged with a fine for messing with the mind of the poor Muggle’s, making them almost kill themselves so they can attempt to swim as fast as Phelps.

Florence Nightingale revolutionized Muggle medicine in a matter of days. She was incredibly brave, risking her life to reduce Muggle death’s in a war called the “Crimean War.” In fact, she was constantly caring for her patients. She was even nicknamed the “Lady with the Lamp,” because during the middle of the night, she would walk around to each patient, making sure they were okay and treating them if they weren’t. Obviously, Nightingale could have easily been using Lumos, but Muggles would make an excuse, saying it was merely a lamp. The real question is: how was she able to cure and treat so many injured Muggles despite the surrounding conditions? Back then, Muggle hospitals were very dirty and detrimental. They were non-sanitary, and many Muggles ended up catching some sort of disease on top of their previous injury or illness. Florence Nightingale may have used cleaning charms like Scourgify to sanitize hospitals. Also, she could have used Obliviate on nearby nurses that tended to disagree or on patients who caught her using magic. Plus, she evidently might have used Healing Charms on Muggles! Even though Florence Nightingale may be dead, she was a brave witch who risked her life for Muggles.

William Shakespeare, the author Muggle school children despise and love at the same time. He was obviously a Wizard since there isn’t a Muggle alive that has not had trouble deciphering his… unique language and understanding what he is even saying, so of course, he would be a Wizard. Muggles don’t understand magic in general. Additionally, Shakespeare ended his play, A Midsummer’s Night Dream, by having a character that was in the play and closely involved in the play within the play close the whole play with an epilogue, making it a play within a play within a play. Obvious sorcery and magical exposure are present! Also, in A Midsummer’s Night Dream, Shakespeare wrote, “If shadows we have offended, Think but this and all is mended: That you have but slumbered here While these visions did appear. And this weak and idle theme, No more yielding than a dream” (A Midsummer’s Night Dream Act 5, Scene 1). To elaborate (and translate), Shakespeare used the Memory Charm on the poor Muggles that did not like the play he wrote to make it seem like a dream to be disregarded. Shakespeare was undoubtedly an incognito Wizard when he was still walking the Earth, fooling countless Muggles for many centuries and generations.

The last Wizard disguised as a Muggle is the most shocking: none other than John F. Kennedy, the 35th president of the United States, himself! See, JFK was America’s president during the Cuban Missile Crisis. A brief lesson of Muggle history: the Cuban Missile Crisis happened during the Cold War (which really wasn’t a war as no major fighting took place like a usual war). The Cuban Missile Crisis was the closest America and the Soviet Union got to a full-out nuclear war, which obviously would’ve had devastating and drastic effects. However, JFK met with the leader of the Soviet Union, Khrushchev, and they negotiated and agreed on set terms in order to avoid a nuclear war. However, it is highly possible JFK Obliviated Khrushchev to force him to agree to his terms. Furthermore, it is said JFK was assassinated in 1963. But was he? Many Witches and Wizards believe that he was getting tired of being a popular figure among Muggles and he wished for a simpler, less fame-driven, life. Some believe he is in fact, at 100 years old, living in Massachusetts still (where he was born). Others think he is living in Cuba or the Bahamas, enjoying a nice, quiet life with Jacqueline Kennedy Onassis, his Muggle wife and his close friend Tupac Shakur. After all, Muggles will go to any length and logic to cover up magic. Magical exposure most likely happened regardless, and even though JFK is probably hiding out somewhere unknown, some Muggle-fascinated magical historians are still searching for him, although he is most likely never to be found unless he wants to be.

Michael Phelps, Florence Nightingale, William Shakespeare, John F. Kennedy, and Tupac Shakur are/were most likely Wizards and Witches disguised as Muggles. Each had their own logic and reasoning, sometimes for the better, sometimes for the worse. Muggles may have been fascinated by these historically-influential figures, but not as fascinated and intrigued as Wizards and Witches (plus magical governing bodies) at their success for fooling millions and millions of Muggles.

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