The First Annual Golden Niffler Awards


What an exciting time for us all! We here at the Quibbler may be a bit late to the reporting party, but better late than never. The very first annual Golden Niffler Awards ceremony, hosted by Gamekeeper Poto Thomas (EnderDevils), took place on the 29th of last month, and oh boy, was it a ceremony to remember, with witches and wizards attending in both dress robes and their everyday attire! The event was a fun one meant purely to celebrate the community, occurring in one of the most symbolic community areas ever to exist: the Great Hall of Hogwarts. The Designer team truly outdid themselves once again! The hall was decked out in flowing garlands of gold, with elegant round tables arranged near the back center of the hall. Behind them, a podium and seats for the award winners were situated, painstakingly arranged by our very own editor, Thistle Quibbler (TThistle).

Those seats began the ceremony empty, but were soon filled up by witches and wizards who had won certain subcategories that they had been nominated for! There were three categories of awards; those for Staff members, those for DA members and Heads, and those for students. Each of these categories was divided into subcategories as such;

STAFF AWARDS

  • Wizard of the Year
  • Witch of the Year
  • Best Professor
  • Best Designer
  • Best Admin
  • Most Likely to Get Fired

DA / HEAD AWARDS

  • Wizard of the Year
  • Witch of the Year
  • Best DA Member
  • Most Gullible

STUDENT AWARDS

  • Wizard of the Year
  • Witch of the Year
  • Best Wizengamot Member
  • Most Artistic
  • Most Likely to Become Owner
  • Most Likely to Be Captured by Aragog
  • Most Likely to Miss the Hogwarts Express

Typically, anywhere from 3-5 people were nominated for each subcategory. Naturally, only one person could take home the award for each of them. These winners, selected by the votes of players throughout Hogwarts, won 15,000 galleons and a special trophy prize, while the rest of the nominees won 5,000 galleons. Congratulations to the winners (and it’s quite a hefty list) as follows!

The Staff category saw three total winners take home the prizes for multiple categories. What an accomplishment! Our very own Thistle Quibbler won the awards for both Staff Witch of the Year and Best Designer. Resident History of Magic Professor Erdal Jenner (Erdalumos) got Best Professor and, quite contrarily, Most Likely to Get Fired. While the latter may not be an award, he’s exceptionally proud to have won, and we congratulate him anyway! Lastly for the Staff category, Poto Thomas came in first for the Wizard of the Year and Best Admin awards. Did he, as the announcer, rig the awards so he would win not only one but two categories? Some students think so! I personally believe that Mr. Thomas, a widely respected icon in the Hogwarts community, would never do such a thing. Such accusations are naught but slander. We’d like to once again congratulate the three Staff winners!

In the DA / Head category, the four awards were distributed between two winners. Sirius Abythrmonne (miningdeep) took home DA Wizard of the Year, whilst Gemma Potato (GemmaWatson) won—ready for it?—Witch of the Year, Best DA, and Most Gullible. She protested her eligibility for the last award profusely, to which Mr. Thomas, ever the fair announcer, responded with a small test to prove once and for all that Ms. Potato was indeed deserving of the Most Gullible award. “Don’t worry, Gemma,” he said. “You didn’t actually win Most Gullible!” Ms. Potato seemed quite relieved. “Oh, thank goodness,” she replied. Naturally, this only proved her gullibility further. Again speculations of cheating and foul play arose; while I wouldn’t put it past Gemma Potato to bribe her way to winning three titles and a total of 45,000 galleons, I also have the joy of knowing her personally. She’s quite a lovely witch, and I can safely—probably safely say that all three categories she won were fair and square! Congratulations again to Sirius and Gemma!

Lastly, we have the Student category! Five people took home gold in these seven categories. Ex-Quibbler writer Foxy Jones (MrFoxy97) won both Wizard of the Year and Best Wizengamot, much to announcer Poto’s admitted surprise! Well, I’m sure he deserved both these awards. Witch of the Year was awarded to the Quibbler’s very own exceptionally talented resident artist, Squish Resborne (squishysq)! Another very talented artist, Pox Cuffe (PennecPox) got Most Artistic—maybe congratulate them by sending them a cheese stick or seven! Chewbacca ‘Chewy’ Chubb (Chewbarfa) took home the cake for Most Likely to Be Captured by Aragog. Let’s hope she doesn’t have any run-ins with giant spiders anytime soon! Last, but definitely not least, having won not one but two awards, is Elly Jenner (ellyyyy/fortniteelly), with the prizes for Most Likely to Miss the Hogwarts Express and Most Likely to Become Owner! When asked about her plans for the future as owner, Ms. Jenner told us she was planning on firing quite a few people, and also offered a few words of quality advice. Among them were “Remember kids, in this world it’s yeet or be yeeted,” “Dab on them haters!!!” and “Erdal stinks.” Great job, Foxy, Squish, Pox, Chewy, and Elly!

That’s a wrap! Congratulations to all ten winners and thirty-one nominees (not naming you all because we’d be here forever, but you know who you are)! I’d like to take a moment to thank everyone, nominated or not, on behalf of the entire wizarding community, for being good sports about this ceremony. Events like this are no fun for anyone if everyone’s grumbling about how Debbie didn’t deserve to win Best Hair or saying that they should have been nominated for best supporting actress, not Tyrina. Fortunately, it seemed the first annual Golden Niffler Awards were a success in that regard; everyone had a blast and we’re all proud of each and every one of the nominees and winners!

Thank you, DA Staff, for hosting this amazing event, and we can’t wait to see what happens next year!

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