As witches and wizards, we all know about a certain magical hybrid being with the head and torso of a human and the legs and tail of a horse. While our relations with centaurs haven’t always been the friendliest, it’s safe to say that centaurs and magical folk regard each other with respect. In some instances, we’ve even cooperated—take Firenze, a centaur and Professor of Divination at Hogwarts, for example!
But while we in the Wizarding world are completely aware of the reality of our hooved acquaintances, the Muggles are completely oblivious in regards to them. However, certain staff members at the London Zoo—one of the city’s more well-known tourist attractions—seeks to change that. Among them is zoo manager Philip Colton, a horse enthusiast who’s out to prove the existence of beings that are half-horse, half-human.
“It’s always been a dream of mine, to meet a centaur,” says Colton. “And it would be even cooler if all my friends could, too. I think I have the means to draw at least one centaur out of hiding from us humans. Oh, you’ll love this.”
Colton went on to explain the exact plan he and some of his co-workers at the London Zoo devised to attract a centaur. As it turns out, their scheme falls under a realm we here at the Quibbler are quite familiar with: journalism. The group of Muggles resolved to write a brief article detailing all the possible ways that centaurs could wear pants. Their hope is that, upon publishing such a composition, a centaur would feel compelled to find them and regale them with the correct information, proving to the Muggle world in the process that centaurs truly do exist.
“The problem is,” Colton added, “we aren’t sure where exactly we would publish such a piece. Surely we can’t do it on our website, because I doubt centaurs have access to computers and it’s not such a popular site anyhow, but what if we got a popular news outlet to help us out? People who read their stuff could spread the word!”
What do you think, readers? Should the Quibbler aid Colton and his zoo in their daft plan to prove to Muggles that there is such a thing as a centaur? It wouldn’t exactly break the International Statute of Secrecy, and the plan—although admittedly one we here at the Quibbler could have come up with ourselves and gone through the motions of without hesitation—wasn’t the most well-formulated. If all else fails, our help would at least be free advertising for the London Zoo—which, by the way, you should definitely go check out! The zoo is a great place to hang out with friends and marvel at the diversity of the species that live there. I hear they even have penguins!
As a helpful tip to any zoology enthusiasts, we’ll let you know that admission to the zoo is free for the time being. In return, let us know what your thoughts on the centaur matter are!